Building Something Together as a Couple

You are dangerous!

Well, not on your own. Actually, on your own you’re pretty wimpy and before you think I am mocking you, so I am. On our own we are vulnerable, fearful, and probably even divisive. There is power in unity and togetherness.

In fact, this spring I planted a pear tree. I was very proud of the tree until I actually researched about the tree and realized I needed more than one pear tree in order for it to ever or grow one single pear on it. On its own it would be leafy green and flower beautifully, but the flowers would never become pears. It’s called cross pollination. Cross pollination is pollination of a flower or plant with pollen from another flower or plant.

So, this isn’t a horticulture site. Sorry to burst your green thumb bubble if you thought so, however, nature often reveals a lot of truths. Truths that can be applied to your journey.

In Genesis 11, people were building a tower to reach heaven using ingenuity and unity. In verse 6 it states, “The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible.’”

This passage is the foundation of different nations and languages, but what I want to point out is the fact that with unity nothing is impossible. NOTHING!

Your marriage is the powerful force in your dream chasing journey. When you and your spouse are on the same page, there is nothing that can stop it. But when you are divided, you’re a chump. Why do you think that the biggest spiritual attack in our world is on marriage?

One of the most overlooked aspect of chasing dreams is unity as husband and wife. Unity should be at the forefront of your dream chasing journey. Finding togetherness should take precedent over any other activity but in the zeal to chase dreams you can unfortunately leave your family behind.

Even Chuck Norris needs his wife in unity because the two of them have become one. If Chuck needs Gena, you need your wife. By the way, when the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. A bonus Chuck Norris joke for your time.

Okay, so hopefully Chuck Norris convinced you. You need to be united with your spouse and now you’re wondering how? I’m glad you asked. Okay, I’m going to tell you even if you didn’t ask.

Listen

Often we are so excited to share our dreams, we aren’t listening to our fears and dreams of our spouse. Instead, we are shoving our dreams down their throats and they want to slap our dreams in the face. Try listening to your spouse and putting yourself in there shoes. When we hear the fears and other dreams of our soulmate, we can tend to take it personally instead of hearing them personally. LISTEN to understand the perspective of your partner.

Verbalize

I am not talking about verbalizing your dream, I am talking about verbalizing back what you heard. I want you to be an echo to your spouse’s voice. Saying, “What I hear you saying is…” If you didn’t repeat back what they were trying to communicate, ask for more clarification. Most of the time, a lack of unity is caused by a lack of understanding what the other person is feeling and thinking. Verbalize to understand your partner.

Slow Down

You need to slow down in order for your partner to catch up to your vision. You have a full visual in your brain of what you want to create. Your supportive spouse wants to see your vision, but they may have a hard time. You are better off to slow down in order for them to process and catch up to you, than sprinting out in front trying to drag them along. Both of you will start to resent each other when one pulls the other. Slow down to allow your other half to catch the vision.

Pray

Pray and when you think that you have prayed enough pray some more. God is the one that moves the mountains, not you. There is so many things at work that we need the Holy Spirit’s help to see and act on it all. Pray without stopping. Pray for your souse to unite with you. Pray for wisdom on how to chase the dream together. Pray constantly and God will answer.

You will have moments of success and moments of failure. The important thing is to have a household of grace along the way and to fail forward. Remember, you are built to dream, but make sure to bring your family with you. Be blessed on your journey.

Questions to Ponder:

When do you feel the most disconnected from your spouse?

How can you hear your spouse better?

 

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This post was previously published on zechariahnewman.com and is republished here with permission from the author.

Photo credit: Shutterstock.com

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